Word of the Year

(Via) 

Over the past couple of years I have seen the "Word of the Year" posts and I always thought that I should do that. I would spend so much time procrastinating thinking about it that it would eventually be forgotten until the following year when those posts would start popping in my reading list. I have been kicking around a handful of words for a little over a week now, and I believe that I finally found one that will provide great meaning for me in 2016.

INTENTIONAL

There have been so many nights where I have been laying in bed at night reflecting on my day and how much time was wasted by doing nothing. After my family has left for the day I make myself some breakfast, throw in a load of laundry, and flip on the television (either Lifetime Movie Network or HGTV) to keep me company while I eat. The next thing I know it's the middle of the afternoon and I am rushing around trying to get things crossed off my to do list because I wasted a day doing....I don't even know what. I feel that I can be incredibly wasteful with time, even money, if I am not paying attention.

To be honest, I really thought my word of the year was going to be "focus", because I've always got my attention spread out everywhere. However, I feel that by being intentional I will be able to focus more on the important things.

The areas that I want to really be intentional with are my relationships with my husband, my kids, my family, my friends, myself, with God, our finances, and my time.

To be intentional with all of the different relationships in my life, I want to give not only my time but my attention as well. I need to have conversations, play games, watch movies, enjoy their company without the distractions of technology. I need to make sure that my husband and I make the time for each other. I need to spend quality time with my kids, as well as with my stepkids. I want to make the time to see my friends and hang out with my parents, siblings, nephews and niece. It is important to make my time with them count.

This is the year that I start being more intentional with myself. I tend to be a people pleaser and make sure that others are taken care of and happy before I take the time to take care of me. I have goals for myself and I want to make the time to do that. It may be that I have to pencil this time for me into my To-Do list, but that's okay as long as I am getting it done.

I don't really want to discuss my relationship with God quite yet on my blog, as I feel it is something that I'm still trying to figure out. Just know that it is something I want to continue to work on.

Finances is a big thing that I need to start being more intentional with. I have been dabbling in the Dave Ramsey podcasts, books, and teachings for the last year or so. However, it's only half assed. It's time to crack the whip, get our budget in shape and work on cleaning up the debt. I would love to be debt free by the time my oldest graduates high school, which means we have 5 years to get that done. That may sound like a lot of time, but lord knows it will fly by in the blink of an eye!

Lastly, I want to be intentional with my time. I would like to spend more time being productive than not.

This year I am looking forward to living more in the moment and enjoying the moments as they come!

Until next time,

xoxo

Power Struggle

I don't really remember much of my childhood and my teenage years. I have many memories of both, of course, but the memories are of significant things that happened not the mundane every day life things. I know that I was a difficult teenager and I don't know how my parents survived, but they did, and that gives me some hope.

There is always a power struggle between parents and their child(ren). The child(ren) wants to be able to express themselves, use their voice, and be in control of their life. Parents, on the other hand, have a job to do with raising them and a certain way they want to do it. Of course we want our child(ren) to express themselves, find their voice and make their own choices. However, we want them to do it on our terms. 

It seems to me the older the kids get the more they want to push back against me and stand on their own two feet. However, they aren't at a place yet where they are willing to accept the consequences of their actions. They want to do things when and how they want, but when it doesn't work out like they thought it would it must be someone else's fault. No responsibility is taken by them for their choice; instead they make excuses and point blame everywhere but where it belongs. 

Don't get me wrong, I have no doubt that is exactly how I behaved as a teenager. I know my parents, especially my father, preached about owning up and taking responsibility for ourselves. I can only speak for myself, but I do know that I was pretty good at taking ownership of my actions. I am not perfect and neither are my kids. This is something that I need to remind myself of from time to time.

The power struggle between a stepparent and their stepchild(rent) is at a very different level than that of a biological relationship. I am a custodial stepmom, which means my step kids live with us full time and I am a key player in how they're being raised and their daily well being. While I do all the same things for my step kids that I do my biological kids, I am constantly reminded that I am nothing more than a stepmom. When, where, how did being a stepmom become such a negative thing? I love and care for these kids every single day. The expectations are that I do all of the work that a "real" mom does, but get none of the respect. I get it, life's not fair, but damn is it ever frustrating.

Anyway, just some food for thought.

Until next time,

xoxo

New Year, New Me?

(Via)

It's the 3rd of January, so it is probably safe to say hundreds (maybe even thousands) of resolutions have been broken already! I personally don't make resolutions. I don't see the point. There is so much focus on starting fresh because it is a new year. Every morning you are given a new day to create a fresh start. Why put so much pressure on yourself to create a new you because it is a new year? I know that, for me, I am constantly changing. When I want to make new changes in my life I don't do wait for January 1st to do it, I make the change when I'm ready for it. 

I don't know what the statistics are for people that actually stick to their new years resolutions, but I believe it is relatively low. Every year on my birthday I create a bucket list of things I would like to achieve before my next birthday. I love making lists and I find it is less pressure for me if I am setting these goals in August. In the past (when I used to make resolutions) I would get so much negativity if I didn't stick with it. 

(Via)

It is so crazy how much as changed in the last 12 months. In 2015 we...

*moved 1200 miles for my Misters job; 

*bought our first home together; 

*are officially parents of a teenager; 

*rode all the roller coasters at Cedar Point in Ohio; 

*said goodbye to our friends turned family 

*said hello to family, as we moved right next door to my hometown; 

*made new friends and caught up with old friends. 

I have a lot of things to look forward to in 2016! Some of the things I'm looking forward to..

*going back to school to get a certificate to become a state licensed Drug & Alcohol Counselor; 

*I'm waiting to find out whether or not I will be accepted back into Graduate School to finish my Masters Program; 

*our boys will turn double digits; 

*our other daughter will be a teenager; 

*some house projects; 

*paying off debt on the Dave Ramsey program;

*being able to watch my niece and nephew's dance recital in the spring; 

*spending time with my family and my friends;

*family vacations.  

(Via)

 For 2016 I wish everyone a year of health and happiness! May you have a blessed year!

Until next time,

xoxo