Counting my Blessings

I am sitting here on the eve of Christmas Eve and I am thinking about all the time I waste on negative thoughts and feelings. This past week someone very important in my son's life lost their father to suicide. My heart absolutely breaks for them. Death is hard to begin with, but to lose someone unexpectedly and by their own hand is devastating. Life is so precious and should not be taken for granted, yet there are so many moments that are. I don't try to be ungrateful for my life and my blessings, but I know that at times I am. Tonight I want to refocus on my energy, my thoughts, and my feelings towards the positive. Tonight I am counting my blessings.

I am blessed...

* to have a loving husband
* with four healthy and happy (well when I'm not "ruining" their preteen/teenage lives) kids
* with good health
* to have such loving and supporting parents
* to have a house that we have made a home
* to have meaningful friendships
* with kindness and love in my heart
* to have the best siblings and nieces and nephews on the planet!
* with a husband who works super hard so that I can be home with the kids
* to have a husband who supports me 100%
* with children that love me unconditionally
* to have the cutest and cuddliest cats

Tonight, and every night, I am blessed to be alive.

Until next time,

xoxo

Motherhood

Fear is something that has a tendency to hold us back, especially me. I used to be such a free spirit who would jump head first into things and worry about the consequences later. There are a lot of days where I miss that girl. I think the fear took over when I became a mother and I was responsible for the life of someone else.

Do you know who fear's best friend is? Worry! I worry a lot. I worry about things that I have absolutely no control over, especially my kids. I don't want to micromanage my children, I know that they need to have room to grow, they need to make mistakes and learn from them. I cannot solve all of their problems, trust me when I say that I want to. I worry about losing them. I worry about them losing me. I worry about who they're hanging around with, whether or not they'll make the right choice when I'm not there to make sure they do. I have spent the last 13 years worrying and I don't foresee it slowing down anytime soon.

These two beautiful human beings I brought into this world consume my heart. They are my biggest accomplishments and the best things that have ever happened to me. I am learning to let go of my (excessive) worries and fears...Let go and let God. The biggest lesson I am trying to implement at this stage in my life is "Let your faith be bigger than your fear".

A mother's greatest gift is the love of her children.

(Via)

Until next time, 

xxoo