Friday Ramblings

*I am so over this new medication. I am tired of the mood swings, the heartburn, the upset stomachs, the sluggish way I feel all damn day. 4 more days and it will be done. I can do this.

*Today sucked. That's all there is to say about it. Every night I pray for things to change, for me to change and grow, and I'm starting become impatient because my prayers aren't being answered. Well at least not yet.

*I like that I have my blog to come and write on, it gives me a sense of peace. I don't like that I've been doing a lot of whining and bitching here lately, but it is how I'm feeling and I just need to roll with it. I am hopeful that once I get out the heavy and negative things that are weighing me down because I hold them in, things will look up. I sit, I write, and I am not sorry about any of it. Why should I be? People (gross generalization here) apologize way more often than they should. I know I do and that's why I've been working on doing it less. It's okay for me to not be sorry about shit. Life happens.

*School shopping is exhausting and expensive! I know that it comes at the same time every year, but we don't budget well so it feels like a surprise. Well, I think it just feels expensive because it is also the same time of year that fall and winter sports fees are being paid and that costs a pretty penny when you have a herd in sports.

*This weekend I would like to wash and wax my floors and clean out under our stairs. Cleaning and organizing is soothing for me.

*The herd is going to start chores again. I need to put together their list this weekend. They're not excited about it and I get that. However, I can't do everything and it is time for me to get help.

*Tomorrow the girls have hair appointments. I am thinking that I will sneak off in the afternoon to go get some work clothes and a manicure.

 *I cannot believe that this is the last weekend before school is back in session. Summer literally flew by! It is going to be football and hoodie season here very soon.

*I'm tired of feeling stuck. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. The sooner I find a way to become unstuck the better.

I have so many things that I want to get done this weekend and I am hopeful that I will be able to get them taken care of so I can relax before the chaos of the new school year is upon us.

Until next time,

xoxo

Monday Mumblings

When I had a life outside of my home I would dread Mondays like everyone else, but now I have no real feelings about it. My Mondays usually consist of piles of laundry, creating my to do list for the week, and decorating my planner. I fell of the gym wagon and I need to get back on it and soon! I am feeling frumpy again so the sooner I get back into my routine the better. 

Last week I read "The Girl on the Train" and it was amazing! This week I am reading "The Gift of Fear" and I have only managed to get through one chapter so far. I've had this book now for over a year, as I got it from the instructor of the Self Defense class that my girls and I took. I know it is a book that I will get a lot out of. 

Christmas is only a few weeks away at this point and I've got nothing done. We brought the tree in from the garage, but it has been sitting in it's box for over a week now. It's on my list for this week so I hope that I can get it before the weekend. We are doing the Four Rules of Christmas (Want, Need, Wear, and Read) this year for our kids and they've been working on their lists. I am really excited to see what they will be asking for. I hope that they are putting some good thought into it. The Mister and I will also be doing this for each other, including a stocking for us this year as well! I have had a really hard time coming up with ideas for my list. There isn't anything I can think of that I really want. I did put down a Rose Gold Apple Watch, because I think it is beautiful, but it is not realistically in our budget. I find that the older I get the less things I can think of that I want. It may be because if I need really need something I just go and buy it. Who knew it making a wish list could be so stressful?! 

The boys had their first ever wrestling tournament over the weekend. They both did a wonderful job and they both placed 2nd! I am so proud of them. They have a home wrestling tournament next weekend and we are required to volunteer at it. I received an email today that said if you didn't volunteer they would charge you $200. Ummm what?! I absolutely think that is crap! We parents already spend a lot of money for our kids to participate in these activities and then we are going to get charged an insane amount of money if we don't volunteer? I didn't sign a contract that said I agreed to this, so I'm not sure that they could enforce it. However, I don't want my kids kicked out of this club because of it. I feel that this information should be provided at registration. Anyway, enough about that. 

The last couple of days have been rough on me emotionally. Adulting is so hard sometimes and I don't always deal with it well. Between hormones, the first anniversary of the death of my aunt, and the missed communications between me and the Mister I just want to curl up on the couch and cry. I won't...or maybe I will...I don't know. I do know that sometimes a good cry makes you feel better. 

I spend too much time in my head so I come here to write and then I feel like I can't get it all out like I want. 

Today makes 4 weeks until I go back to school! I am so excited to do be doing something for me. 

These Monday night football games lately have been so intense! Game is almost over so I'm signing off and heading to bed. 

Until next time, 

xxoo