Friday Ramblings

*I am so over this new medication. I am tired of the mood swings, the heartburn, the upset stomachs, the sluggish way I feel all damn day. 4 more days and it will be done. I can do this.

*Today sucked. That's all there is to say about it. Every night I pray for things to change, for me to change and grow, and I'm starting become impatient because my prayers aren't being answered. Well at least not yet.

*I like that I have my blog to come and write on, it gives me a sense of peace. I don't like that I've been doing a lot of whining and bitching here lately, but it is how I'm feeling and I just need to roll with it. I am hopeful that once I get out the heavy and negative things that are weighing me down because I hold them in, things will look up. I sit, I write, and I am not sorry about any of it. Why should I be? People (gross generalization here) apologize way more often than they should. I know I do and that's why I've been working on doing it less. It's okay for me to not be sorry about shit. Life happens.

*School shopping is exhausting and expensive! I know that it comes at the same time every year, but we don't budget well so it feels like a surprise. Well, I think it just feels expensive because it is also the same time of year that fall and winter sports fees are being paid and that costs a pretty penny when you have a herd in sports.

*This weekend I would like to wash and wax my floors and clean out under our stairs. Cleaning and organizing is soothing for me.

*The herd is going to start chores again. I need to put together their list this weekend. They're not excited about it and I get that. However, I can't do everything and it is time for me to get help.

*Tomorrow the girls have hair appointments. I am thinking that I will sneak off in the afternoon to go get some work clothes and a manicure.

 *I cannot believe that this is the last weekend before school is back in session. Summer literally flew by! It is going to be football and hoodie season here very soon.

*I'm tired of feeling stuck. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. The sooner I find a way to become unstuck the better.

I have so many things that I want to get done this weekend and I am hopeful that I will be able to get them taken care of so I can relax before the chaos of the new school year is upon us.

Until next time,

xoxo

Inconsiderate

I really cannot stand it when people are inconsiderate. I strive to be polite, thoughtful, and considerate on a daily basis, as that is how I was raised. I am human so I am flawed. I don't always show the best side of myself, but more often than not I do. I am aware of others feelings and how valuable their thoughts and time is, so I do my best to be considerate of that. 

My issue is that a lot of the time the same consideration and courtesy that I extend towards others is not reciprocated, and it is especially frustrating when it comes from friends and family. I sometimes feel that since I put forth quite a bit of effort and make myself available for them that the same would be returned. When it is not, I get frustrated and let my feelings get hurt. 

I don't really know what to do at this point, as I have had the same conversation 10 times over and nothing has changed. It is literally to the point know where I either need to step back and make myself less available, or I accept it for what it is and stop letting it hurt me. I am quick to take a stand for others, but have a hard time taking a stand for myself. When I do stand up for myself it is usually when I have hit my breaking point and I am so frustrated and emotional that it accomplishes nothing! I want to be heard. I want to be acknowledge. I want to be appreciated. A lot of the time I feel that I am not getting any of those things. It is going to drive me crazy if something doesn't change. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting the different results. Guess that means it's time to find a different approach....

Until next time

xxoo