Power Struggle

I don't really remember much of my childhood and my teenage years. I have many memories of both, of course, but the memories are of significant things that happened not the mundane every day life things. I know that I was a difficult teenager and I don't know how my parents survived, but they did, and that gives me some hope.

There is always a power struggle between parents and their child(ren). The child(ren) wants to be able to express themselves, use their voice, and be in control of their life. Parents, on the other hand, have a job to do with raising them and a certain way they want to do it. Of course we want our child(ren) to express themselves, find their voice and make their own choices. However, we want them to do it on our terms. 

It seems to me the older the kids get the more they want to push back against me and stand on their own two feet. However, they aren't at a place yet where they are willing to accept the consequences of their actions. They want to do things when and how they want, but when it doesn't work out like they thought it would it must be someone else's fault. No responsibility is taken by them for their choice; instead they make excuses and point blame everywhere but where it belongs. 

Don't get me wrong, I have no doubt that is exactly how I behaved as a teenager. I know my parents, especially my father, preached about owning up and taking responsibility for ourselves. I can only speak for myself, but I do know that I was pretty good at taking ownership of my actions. I am not perfect and neither are my kids. This is something that I need to remind myself of from time to time.

The power struggle between a stepparent and their stepchild(rent) is at a very different level than that of a biological relationship. I am a custodial stepmom, which means my step kids live with us full time and I am a key player in how they're being raised and their daily well being. While I do all the same things for my step kids that I do my biological kids, I am constantly reminded that I am nothing more than a stepmom. When, where, how did being a stepmom become such a negative thing? I love and care for these kids every single day. The expectations are that I do all of the work that a "real" mom does, but get none of the respect. I get it, life's not fair, but damn is it ever frustrating.

Anyway, just some food for thought.

Until next time,

xoxo

Currently

Reading the book that I  have been reading is called "Scream Free Parenting". I took this parenting class at our last duty station and learned so much from it. I stumbled across this book when I was wondering around Barnes & Nobles so I picked it up. It's a great read and I think all parents should check it out!

Anticipating The 13th birthday of my (not so) little girl!

Buying I am not buying anything right now. The Sephora VIB Rouge sale starts tomorrow and I do have my eye on a number of things!

Praying for this headache to go away.

Listening to my boys talking to each other and House on tv.

Watching House

Devouring Bai Ipanema Pomegranate water. Sooooo delicious!

Loving that it is Thursday, which means How to Get Away with Murder is on tonight. Cannot wait!

Hating my headache and the aches and pains I'm feeling from yesterdays workout. It hurts so good though.

Wanting to go get my nails done. I really want to get acrylics put on because I love the way they look! However, I hate the way they destroy my real nails. Decisions, decisions...first world problems, I know!

Hoping for the nice weather to continue! I am not looking forward to winter.

Feeling all of my 34 years today. Ugh...getting old sucks!

Wishing that the things we need to fall in place will. Whatever is meant to be will be, but sometimes I'm impatient and want it to happen now.

Linking up with Kristin today!

Until Next Time,

xxoo